What EMDR Feels like for Clients…
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“The past affects the present even without our being aware of it”
A gentle guide for trauma survivors
If you’re considering EMDR therapy, its natural to wonder: What does EMDR actually feel like? Many people are curious-and a little nervous-especially if past experiences have been overwhelming or traditional talk therapy hasn’t helped in the way they hoped.
As an EMDR therapist serving clients in Wilmington, NC, I hear this question often. The short answer is this: EMDR feels different for everyone, but is designed to be paced, supportive and deeply respectful of your nervous system.
Below, I’ll walk you through what EMDR commonly feels like- before, during, and after sessions- so you can decide whether it feels like a good fit for you.
First, What EMDR is NOT
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Let’s start by clearing up a few common misconceptions. EMDR is not about reliving trauma in detail. It’s not hypnosis. And it’s not something that is done to you.
EMDR is a collaborative process. You remain present, aware, and in control the entire time. Your therapist’s role is to guide the process while making sure you feel safe, and supported. You may direct the process and decide the pace.
what emdr feels like in the beginning…
Before any trauma processing begins, EMDR focuses on preparation. This phase often feels calming and empowering.
Many clients describe early EMDR sessions as:
Learning new ways to calm their nervous system
Feeling validated and understood
Gaining a sense of control over their reactions
Building trust and emotional safety.
You won’t be rushed into anything. In my EMDR practice in the Wilmington, NC area, I go at the clients pace. Sometimes even switching back and forth between talk therapy and EMDR therapy if that helps.
What EMDR feels like during processing….
When active EMDR processing begins, you’ll focus briefly on a memory, emotion, body sensation and false belief while engaging in bilateral stimulation (such as tappers, headphones, eye movement etc.).
Clients often report sensations such as:
Memories shifting or becoming less vivid
Emotions rising and falling in waves
Physical sensations releasing (deep breaths, warmth, tingling)
New insights or perspectives emerging naturally
Some people feel emotional during EMDR; others feel neutral, curious or simply observant. All responses are normal… there is no right or wrong way to respond. Whats different than talk therapy is that you do NOT need to explain everything out loud. EMDR works even when the words are hard to find.
What EMDR feels like in the body…
Because trauma is stored in the nervous system, EMDR often creates changes that are felt physically.
Clients frequently notice:
A sense of lightness or relief
Less tension in chest, stomach, or jaw
Feeling more grounded or present
A decrease in startle response or reactivity
These shifts are signs that the body is learning it is safer now and the memory is in the past.
what emdr feels like after a session…
After an EMDR session, people often feel one of the following:
Calm and centered
Tired but relieved
Temporary mildly irritated
Emotionally lighter
Thoughtful or reflective
Occasionally, processing continues between sessions. This might show up as new insights, vivid dreams, or emotional shifts.
Does EMDR Ever feel intense?
At times, EMDR can feel emotionally activating- but it should never feel overwhelming or unsafe. You can pause, slow down, or stop at any point. You can schedule sessions close together or further apart. Switching between talk and EMDR therapy can be helpful too. Safety, choice and control are central to the EMDR process.
how emdr feels over time…
As EMDR progresses, many clients notice meaningful changes in daily life, such as:
Reduced emotional triggers
Less anxiety or panic
Improved sleep
Healthier self-beliefs
A greater sense of peace and self trust
Memories that once felt heavy often feel distant or neutral- no longer controlling the present.
“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it”
I am an fully trained EMDR therapist who is also Certified by the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA) since 2022. If you are interested in EMDR and would like to learn more about this modality please reach out and schedule a free consult.